Police Troubles? Help please?

So last night I was driving maybe 90mph in a school zone shouting "WE GOT OSAMA!!!!!!!" And I got pulled over by a cop. I gave him my license and registration. He searched my bags and found naked pictures of my girlfriend Bessy, who weights just under 400 pounds, and claimed it was child pornography. Insulted, I began to fake hump him whenever he turned around. Finally he slapped on cuffs and told me to stop doing the dougie. This pissed me off even more because I'm not black. He then started licking the hood of my car and offered me a "half and half because ice been a naughty boy" I think i will say yes because I like transvestites who play easy to get. Any ideas?